Hey everybody! Sorry for the lack of posting recently. It's been an...interesting...few days. I won't go into the details, but I will say that I have definitely felt (and seen) the power of God's grace over the the past weekend, in more instances than one. Maybe it's just because I'm looking for it more. Who knows? Either way, I'm feeling good.
In a comment to the last post, Einy raised an interesting question, the answer of which will be the subject of this post. Here's the question:
"Oh - I would be really interested in you writing a post about how you look at girls, as well, think about them, etc. Their beauty, their bodies, their femininity, stuff like that. I'm interested because I'm trying to find out how a self-identified gay guy thinks about girls. Has there ever been any sexual thoughts at all?"
That's certainly a valid question. I don't know if my views on women are representative of all gay men, but I'll give it a shot. For starters, I am not repulsed by the female body. In fact, I find it very beautiful, just in a non-sexual sort of way. I mean, a lovely lady can turn my head just as much as it will a straight guy's. However, there is a difference. While a straight guy might be focusing on her, um, assets, I'll probably be more impressed with the way she carries herself. I love to observe women that are smartly dressed, confident, poised, etc.
I like seeing girls that are in charge, but who are also feminine (in terms of dress, hair, etc.) I don't think this is rare for gay men. Why do you think so many are involved in fashion/hair/makeup? I know, that's a stereotype, but I can relate. I like seeing a girl who's looking good. But, alas, there is no chemical reaction. It's all psychological, you know? I mean, I see a girl that's owning the room and I say "She is hot" but my body doesn't react at all. I've tried forcing myself to imagine sex with a girl, but it just doesn't work--to be frank, it's a turn-off.
With guys, it's the exact opposite. My reaction is nearly all chemical, with very little reasoning behind it. Although I have to admit there is some--I'm attracted to guys who are traditionally masculine, but are also playful, funny, and laid-back. I don't necessarily like a take-charge, tough guy. That's strange, isn't it? My ideal male seems to be the opposite of my ideal female. Hmmm, never thought about that before...
Anyway, as far as connecting with women, I've always been able to do it rather easily. It's not to the point where you could say I'm "one of the girls," but I certainly don't mind listening to a girl talk about her day, and I'm not afraid to engage in talks about emotions, relationships, etc. I think this is a trait that I want to keep.
Well, hope that answers your question, Einy. If there's something in specific you (or anyone) want to know, just ask me in the comments. Have a good night, everyone!