Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Personality Shift

As a warning, this blog post is coming straight from my Journal (you know, the one I don't post online). As such, it is a little stream-of-consciousness and perhaps even incoherent at points. If you can get it, then good for you. If not, have a nice day. :)

It's strange, but sometimes I feel like my personality is shaped more by who I want to be (or who I think I am) and who I actually am. Does that make sense? When I was in high school, I saw myself as this big intellectual. I suppose I was when compared to a lot of my classmates, but when I came to college I realized that I really am not that smart.

So, I had to forge a new identity. I didn't know who I wanted to be but I knew that I did not want to be the guy who thought he was an intellectual when he really wasn't. So, I tried to find who I was. I had average intelligence, modest looks, and a slightly loud and obnoxious streak in my personality.

But did I really? Okay, so I'm not as smart when it comes to politics, philosophy, and theology as I previously hoped, but I do think I have a knack for understanding people. I may not be a model, but at least Hitch things I'm attractive. I know I'm not the quiet type, but am I really obnoxious? I certainly don't have a problem with saying what I think, but something is wrong with telling yourself that you are a certain way, because then that is what you become.

I guess it all comes down to finding the parts of our personality that need changing, while at the same time having the wisdom to know the parts that cannot (and should not) change.


Pomoprophet said...

A short post. I like it. Who we think we are is constantly changing. Life is about figuring that out right? Atlest in our teens and 20's.

And why do I have to do a word verification to post a comment? SO annoying!

grace said...

I tend to think your basic personality doesn't change all that's just the way you use that personality to respond to situations and your surrounding in general. For instance, I'm an introvert at heart even though I have worked very hard to be extroverted in social settings. But at my core, I remain an introvert.

One of the great things about getting older is not worrying anymore about the sort of thing you're talking about here. Although I used to have the same discussion in my own mind when I was younger that you are having now.

Happy Thanksgiving Jay! I'm thankful for your friendship!
love and grace,

Armando said...

Hello there, why don't you ask the One who made you lovingly who you truly are?