Tuesday, November 11, 2008


Well, if you couldn't tell, the previous post (and the resulting comment thread) kind of wore me out. I tend to "burn out" like that pretty easily. But let's face it: Not having my candidate win the election, and having to argue with friends and family about how yes, I really am upset Obama won, and then dealing with all this drama surrounding Proposition 8 and the way the church proper has been dealing with homosexuality in general... Well, it's made me tired.

Plus, like I said in the comments of my last post, I really have a lot on my plate right now. Two majors, one minor, two honor societies, two scholarship programs, two jobs, and somehow trying to balance a social life and creative endeavors as well as the blog debates (here and elsewhere) kind of gets to me every now and then. I mean, I started writing a novel over the summer before school got back in. I was really hoping for this to be my second completed novel (after Whaler, which I finished four years ago -- wow). I've had "write!" on my daily post-it note checklists almost every day, and almost every day, nothing gets done, and my novel is stuck in the middle of Chapter 2. It's discouraging.

Plus, I was trying to read more. Somehow I got through The Phantom Tollbooth but Kim has been on my shelf collecting dust since Chapter 5. I'm having my daily devotionals and quiet times with the Lord, and thank goodness for that, because otherwise I don't know how I'd be getting through my semester. And this is the light semester! I just signed up for classes, and man, Spring 2009 is going to suck!

So all and all, I'm tired. I'm constantly feeling like I just need to get away (in fact, other than church, I can't really remember the last time I went off campus to hang out). Thanksgiving is coming up, and that's good, and I have a lot to be grateful for. I'm just really in the need of a pick-me-up. I don't drink coffee or any kind of caffeine (don't ask me how I manage; I really don't know). But I need some sort of spiritual caffeine. I need something to just give me a boost so I can handle everything that's on my plate. I know I have enough time in the day to do everything, because there are some hours when I just zone out in front of the TV. I just need the motivation to do everything, and do it all well.

Since I'm going into Education, I worry about how this is going to play out my first year of teaching. We were talking about the dreaded first year in class today, and from all I've heard, it's a rough year. You're essentially setting up everything that you could use for the rest of your teaching career, so each week is a "breaking in" process. People I know who have gone through it have said that you basically have no life outside of school, and people can burn out quickly. When asked what helped them survive, they all quickly say, "My husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend."


Surely there have to be other things besides romantic relationships that can give me energy, that can comfort me and give me the "pick-me-up" I need. I just haven't seen many people taking advantage of those things, and I don't know what they are. It's not just first year teachers, either. I'm an RA on campus, and the majority of the other RA's on my staff are pretty nicely paired off. I'd say it's because, like the first year of teaching, it's a job that comes with a lot of responsibilities and it somewhat doesn't allow one to have an ordinary social life, so people tend to latch onto one person (usually another RA) who can understand and help them through.

So yeah, I'm tired right now. I'm not the only one. The end of a semester is pretty well-known as "burnout season." I'm just trying to keep the fire going so I don't burnout. I can rest at Christmas Break. If anyone has any good ideas about how to get more energy (without caffeine; I just don't do caffeine), and also achieve some spiritual "pep" in the process, that would be great. Till then, hope everyone's well! Oh, and check out the new music! I'm really enjoying getting to share my favorite songs with people. I think they say things about me that I can't quite say with words.

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