The Downsides Of Normalcy

Today was very cold and rainy, and that naturally put me in a reflective mood. Granted, I'm in a reflective mood 80-90% of the time anyway, but today was the first time in a long time I had sat down and taken time to take it all in. I stayed indoors, and my usual list of things to do was much more sparse than usual. One of the first things I thought about was how much I had changed since this time last year. Last year my free time was mostly spent bumming around the blogosphere, searching for articles concerning politics and sexuality that I could read, critique, and possibly blog about. I was constantly thinking, arguing, and commenting. My social life was active, but it mostly consisted of late-night partying and weekend clubbing. Unlike other social activities, the only thing those get in the way of is sleep. My class schedule was easy, and I breezed through most of my courses. It was a good year, but this year is very, very different. I think it's changed for the better in some ways, and for the worse in others.

From an outsider's perspective, my social life is less active than it was last year. In my view, however, it's better. What it lacks in content it more than makes up for in substance, if that makes sense. I simply got tired ot clubbing and bar-hopping last year, and looking back it really wasn't that good for me. I met a lot of interesting people and had some good memories which I wouldn't trade for anything, but overall I've grown out of that scene. Now my social life is "normal," just the way I wanted it. I meet people for coffee or dinner, play video games with my roommates, go to church every sunday, catch movies, work, go to Campus Crusade, and spend time with my boyfriend. When I'm not doing that stuff, I'm just working on the multitude of papers and applications for various classes, summer programs, and jobs.

Naturally, my blogging career has been put on hold. It's a shame, but I really don't watch the news anymore. Generally, I don't read up on what's going on in the big gay/ex-gay debate. Last week I found a website that drew my ire. Last year I would have spent two or three really long posts picking apart its flaws. This year I wrote a short post saying that it made me angry, and that was it. On the one hand, I'm glad that my life has settled down into a content normalcy. On the other hand, I miss the chances that I used to have to be bold and say or do something outrageous or controversial. So, I have normalcy... I just don't want it to turn into complacency. Does anyone else have this problem? This nice, quiet life is what I said I wanted all last year. I really do like it. I just want to keep its comfort while at the same time not letting it blind me to all the issues on which I could add my ideas. Have a blessed day, everyone!