Saturday, April 21, 2007

All Good Things...

Starting Monday, I will be in my last week of classes for the year. After that are final exams, and so, in less than twenty days, I will be home, and my freshman year of college will be completely over. Period. End of discussion. I really didn't know time could pass this quickly. It's simply unreal. I don't know if this will be my last post of the semester. I really hope it isn't, but just in case it is I wanted to get some things off my chest.

Last night I just decided to go through all of the pictures I had taken this past year. I also just wrote down all the random memories of the whole college experience that couldn't be captured in photographs. By the end of it, there was just this really strange (but familiar) rising in my chest. I guess "joy" is probably the best word for it.

By no means was this year perfect. I am still human, after all. I'm still a sinner, and I have sinned and felt the consequences of those sins in this past year. But I have also grown in my relationship with God. Where I am weak, He is strong. Where I have done wrong and hung my head in guilt and shame, He has been there to forgive me and get me back on my feet again. I can't even begin to describe how that feels sometimes. I'm not even sure there's a word for it. It just feels like grace.

I am trying right now, as hard as I can, to look upon this past year and take in everything that happened in equal regard. Both good and bad were part of the experience, because life is both good and bad. The bad helps us learn and grow, the good gives us something to look forward to and a reason to keep going. So I look back and remember both the cherished times with friends and the petty fights. I remember the spiritual highs and the lows. I remember the parties, the dances, the movies, the books, the classes, the quiet times, the loud times, the clubs, the coffee shops, the midnight runs to Target, the holidays, the deaths of family members and friends, the new life of my niece, my father and mother and brother and sister. I think back on it all.

Even if you aren't in college, I recommend that. I recommend just taking a moment and thinking back on your year. Think back on your entire life if it suits you. And do not judge it or weigh it or take any part as irrelevant. Because though some of it may not have been right or good, it all mattered. Every little event does something to shape who you are today. And if you like who you are today (and I certainly do) then you owe it all a nice big "Thank you."

And that's why right now I'm telling God, the Lord of my wondrous life, "Thank you." That's all, and that's enough. I'm telling all of you thank you, too, because you've been with me all this year and I hope you'll stay with me in the summer, and maybe next year too (we'll see if this blog lasts until then). I'm eternally grateful to everyone.

You know, the title was supposed to be a reference to the saying "All good things come to an end." It was supposed to be a reference to this year, which is sadly coming to a close. But you know what? It's not really ending. The memories, and the impact they have on me, are still with me, and they'll never be gone. I guess all good things just keep on going. Wonderful, ain't it? Have a blessed day, everyone.


David Roberts said...

I was just reading your latest comment on Warren's blog and I realized why I like and appreciate you so much; you are just plain honest. I hope it's contagious :)

Pomoprophet said...

Ah yes. College is a wonderful time. A time full of difficulties and growth but a wonderful time none the less! My freshman year is when I first started journaling. One of my advisors bought me a journal my very first semester as my parents were going through a divorce. These days with my blogs I dont pick it up often but every so often. And I do read back through the old entries. I used to be pretty depressed. I dont know about you but I always used it as an outlet and so most of my thoughts were frustration & anger. I try to keep that in mind so that I dont forget and think my life was ultra-crappy :)

Good luck on Finals bro.

Jay said...

David: Thanks! I'm pretty sure it is contagious, and I don't mind spreading it around. :)

Pomoprophet: Thanks for the "good luck." I'm going to need it. I have a Journal, too. I don't write in there much, but between it and the blog, I've pretty much chronicled my whole year. Pretty cool, huh? Writing is a wonderful outlet.

David Roberts said...

So this whole "take my picture through a mail slot" thing is taking off is it?

Jay said...

If you're talking about Pomoprophet's "eye picture," then yeah. What can I say? I start trends... :D

Norm! said...

". . . this year, which is sadly coming to a close. . ."

What? It's April, right?

Since you're planning on remaining in the education field for your career, be thankful that you will continue to have these annual and semi-annual landmarks to reflect and plan ahead.

I remember my first year of work after leaving school and realizing that June was just another month for most people.


Cheryl of the Wilds of C said...

All the best with your exams Jay! I'm glad you had a wonderful year. It seemed to pass by at the speed of a blink! Yikes.

jerubaal said...

hey dude,

good luck with finals. not that you'll need it, i bet.

I really didn't know time could pass this quickly. It's simply unreal.

Just ask your parents what I'm telling you now: time passes exponentially faster the older you get. Next year will be even quicker, and your Junior and Senior years will seem about as long as freshman year.

Most people think of this as a bad thing, but I don't.

Jay said...

Norm: Yeah, being a teacher is going to rock a bit, I gotta admit. :)

Cheryl: Where have you been, girl!? Your blog disappeared and I thought you had left us. Comment again if you can.

Jerubaal: (puts fingers in ears) I'm not listening...

Seriously, time can't go by that fast forever. Before I know it I'll be 25...then 30. Then I'll have gray hair, or worse, be bald. Ack!

Cheryl of the Wilds of c said...

I'm afraid Jerubaal is right. And...,here is a horrible one for you Jay, my hair started to grey at 25. :::gasp:::

I've been buried at work. Thanks for asking.

I've missed you.

Digao said...

Well Jay, I think you´re totally right about we look back and see all the good and bad things that happened to us and be thankful, becouse through it all, we were able to learn and grow. And I owe you a Thank you too.

Keep the good work bro!! =D
greetings from far away