Thursday, January 25, 2007

Life To Life

Well, I've told you before about the small group Bible study that I do with one of the Christian organizations on campus. I'm only "out" to two guys in there: the group leader, Austin, and Blake, a close friend of mine who's a punk rock vegan and wears flip-flops in 32 degree weather (not that we've had any 32 degree weather around here, mind you :) Anyway, my time in the closet with them might soon come to an end. You see, over the next few weeks we're going to be doing a program called "Life to Life."

The object of "Life to Life" is basically to tell the other members of the group your life story -- most importantly, the things that have shaped your relationship with Christ over the years. I wouldn't be honest if I left my sexuality out of such as story, especially seeing as I once admitted in this post that my sexuality has probably strengthened my walk in Christ more than any other factor in my life. So, it only makes sense for me to mention it. I agree with Grace who said that honesty, in the long run, is much more fruitful than deceit. Telling the guys more about myself will help them understand me and where I'm coming from, and I think that's a good thing.

Another aspect of "Life to Life" is to talk about the people who have affected your decisions in Christ. I might have to fudge the truth just a little there. Ultimately, it was my family and church community that helped me originally come to Christ, but it was a few bloggers (most notably the ones linked to here, here, and here) that helped me decide to pursue celibacy. Some of the guys might think that's kind of weird. Heck, even I think it's kind of weird sometimes. :)

Talking about celibacy isn't going to be easy either. There's quite a mix of different Christians in my group. Austin, for example, supports my celibacy, but Blake is a liberal Christian who doesn't think that homosexual sex is a sin as long as it's within the context of a committed relationship akin to marriage. In his case, I've shown some cowardice on my part by not really coming forward with my beliefs. I don't think it would ruin our friendship or anything; I just dislike conflict. But I'd rather there be conflict between me and Blake than have him and the rest of the guys start arguing in the middle of "Life to Life." And so we see the problems that total transparency can call forth. :/

How honest would you guys be if you were doing "Life to Life." Would you brush past parts that might be somewhat controversial, or even embarrassing? It's odd. We all have life stories, but when you actually start thinking about them you see just how complicated, awkward, and outstandingly beautiful they are.

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