But I Kinda Like It Here!

You know, I said in the last post that I'd post "tomorrow." And of course that turned into four days later. Hey, it's not my fault. I had an Algebra exam to study for, which I took today, and which I'm pretty sure I failed. (Curse you logarithms!) Anyway, I'm done with it now, so I can have a nice, restful weekend before I start stressing out about the Algebra final. ;)

So, the other day I was in the common room and the new season of The Real World came on. It's in Denver this time around, but to tell the truth I haven't really watched the show since the Chicago season (I loved Tonya. I'd hate her in real life, but she made for good TV. I know, that's trashy American media for you. They don't call it a guilty pleasure for nothing). Okay, so back to the point. This season on TRW there is a gay man named Davis. Usually I hate the gay men that have been placed on the show in recent years, because (like most of the cast members) they are petty, selfish, promiscuous, and simply not good role models, yet at the same time claim to be "representing" their community. Hmm. I could do without that kind of representation, to be honest. Then again, I think all young adults could do without the representation that TRW has to offer.

But Davis, for a change, actually seems like a nice, down-to-earth guy. He's a Southern Baptist, and has been through some type of ex-gay counseling before (though he wasn't specific). He's definitely a Side A, but, as far as I can see, he doesn't drink, doesn't go to gay bars, and has a steady boyfriend. He really seems like the nicest person on the show (and the guys at Ex-gay Watch already beat me to the punch about him).

During the first episode, Davis talked with one of the other cast members about his relationship with his mother, which he said went downhill quickly after he told her he was gay. He said she no longer returns his phone calls, said he was "filled with demons," is "in danger of Hell," and cries every time she sees him. Hmm. Can we put those down in a guide entitled "What a Christian Parent Shouldn't Do If Their Child Comes Out?"

This got me thinking about my own relationship with my parents. I've yet to "come out" to any family member other than my brother, and even he and I have only spoken about the issue once (I couldn't really bring myself to tell him about the whole celibacy thing at the time, because I knew he wouldn't agree. I mentioned "spiritual conflict," and that was about as close as I came). He's very accepting, though, and I can't ask for too much more. I'm sure my sister will be too.

Mom and Dad, on the other hand.... Well, the situation's a little more up in the air where they're concerned. I know for a fact that they won't pull something like Davis' mother. That's just not who they are. But other than that, I don't really know how they'll react. I've never really heard definitive views on homosexuality from either of them, though there is a gay man within Mom's circle of friends, and Dad's never hinted that he's anything but fine with it. Then again, there are many things that people are fine with when it's not their family.

I guess I just don't know what to expect when I come out to them. I like the way our relationship is right now, and I don't want it to change (you could say that I'm still in the closet, but I kinda like it there!) It might be a while before I come out, anyway. Mom is going through some stress right now and I don't want to add any more to the heap. I need to wait for the right time, because I'm sure that the conversation will be a very long and interesting one (let's face it; it's a little more awkward because of my somewhat unique views about the whole thing.) Truthfully, I don't know if they haven't already guessed. Rusty admitted to having been suspicious, and it's been a while since Mom or Dad asked "met any pretty girls lately?" ;)

Wherever the conversation goes, I have a pretty good idea of where it might end. Over Thanksgiving break Mom and I were riding back from church (Dad was at an art show). She was silent for a while, before blurting out. "You know what, Jay? You're the nicest person I've ever met." Here's to hoping that opinion doesn't change.