Thursday, October 12, 2006

Ever Have One Of Those "Blah" Days?

Seriously, that's the only way to describe how I've been feeling since I posted last. No, this isn't one of those over-dramatic teen angst spells like I wrote about in "Bad Few Days" (is that your sighs of relief I hear? ;-) I'm not feeling unhappy or particularly anxious. I'm just...blah. Y'know? I mean, I'm usually a pretty upbeat person: early-to-bed (which, in college, usually translates to 12:30 AM), early-to-rise (again, in college time that's 9:30 AM), energetic, social, goofy, just-might-break-out-into-a-showtune-at-any-random-moment kind of guy.

But not recently. I don't think I've spoken more than two sentences to anyone all day (of course, no one's exactly tried to engage me in conversation, but whatev). I've been pretty scatterbrained in class, haven't been really motivated to, y'know, do stuff (like write in my newest novel perhaps? Man that thing is getting neglected), and I don't even feel very enthused about the weather (it's gorgeous, by the way, and usually I'd be begging someone to go take a bike-ride with me right about now but...nope, no motivation).

Oh well, it's just a little funk ;-) Perhaps it's the beginning symptoms of the cold that's been spreading around the dorm faster than kudzu. Gosh I hope not. I hate being sick at home; I can't imagine how it would be if I'm sick here.

Either way, tonight should be helpful. There's a "fancy dinner night" that someone organized for our floor, so everyone's going to go to an "expensive" seafood restaurant ("expensive" meaning expensive for college kids--we might have to pay $15-$20 a piece). It's actually a pretty nice restaurant, or so I've heard. It's on a pier and overlooks the ocean, so you can't do much more in the way of atmosphere, in my opinion. All the girls are excited and some have used it as an opportunity to buy new dresses (or at least ask me about which dresses they should wear--yep, I haven't done much to break that stereotype, but it's not my fault if I have good fashion sense ;-) And basically the guys are trying to figure out if jeans can be incorporated into "dress attire," to which I give a resounding NO!

Oh well, I'm looking forward to it. Food, friends, and fun: how can I feel "blah" after that? Peace y'all.



Anonymous said...

Sorry 'bout your "blah" funk; it won't last long knowing you though.
:) Things sound as if they're going okay down there. Glad to hear it!

Love you,

em said...

Yeah, I have those days periodically... just want to hide out for a while. Hope you get some rest and fun this weekend. :-)

The "fancy" dinner night sounds like fun. haha! I'm having fish tonight, as well... sushi. yum!

You hang in there!

kurt_t said...

Vitamin B-12 and some fresh air. Fix you right up.

Jay said...

Amen to that, Kurt! Actually, I just got back from the "fancy dinner night." It was so fun! :-D

Everybody was dressed up (I actually broke out my suit *gasp*) and our group took up a good portion of the restaurant. Half the night was spent taking pictures (which will now be posted on everybody's Facebook and MySpace pages) and a few guys made some "speeches." It perked me right up. Life's too good for "blah."

Hey A! Yep, I rebounded already (you know me). I love you too, "Jay."

Irrational Entity said...

Perhaps you should take steps to enliven your classroom experience.

Jay said...

LOL. Thanks, I needed that. But of course, there's a conduct clause in my scholarship, so I sadly probably won't be able to do those things.

grace said...

Hey Jay! Sorry I missed this post last night. How ya doin'?

It's Friday night and I'm home...still have major shuffling, sorting, and general clean-up to do in my garage...and even a few boxes to move before the closing date on the house next friday....and yet...'blah'.

It happens.

love you! (i'm holding em to our plan to come see and you this summer!)


Tin Man said...

Jay - Blue jeans arn't dress attire? Does that mean t-shirts have to go too? *Great* Now I am going to have a "blah" spell.

Anonymous said...


I don't want this to come across the wrong way, but you sound like a pretty typical gay guy. I say that as an openly gay guy myself.

I respect your right to try to supress your sexuality, but it makes me feel so sad for you. I don't mean that as an insult, either. The life you are leading sounds so lonely and limited, at least as it is represented in your blog. I admire you for your passion for your spiritual beleifs, and I think that your passion and conviction are indicative of someone with a beautiful and kind heart. I just wish you could somehow see that a relationship with God is not dependent upon a repression of one's natural sexuality.

The gay community isn't perfect. How could it be? It's made up of human beings. However, there are good people out there who would love to befriend someone like you. I hope that you aren't so far gone that you are incapable of exploring other possibilities. Life can be really, really good as an openly gay person no matter what the so-called "ex-gay" charlatans say. I say this as someone who has walked in your shoes.

I suppose your belief system teaches that I am merely "satan" trying to "tempt" you. Maybe I do have horns and a tail, but if so, people have been quite polite about it because no one has pointed it out yet.

I hope you find joy and peace regardless of which direction you ultimately choose (you are still quite young).