Thursday, October 25, 2007

You Might Want To Sit Down For This...

So... I said I wouldn't blog about my relationship with Hitch until there were any interesting developments. Well, those interesting developments happened. As of Tuesday, Hitch and I are officially boyfriends.

Okay, now. Take a breath, drink some water, and come back when you feel you can go on reading. :)


Are you good? Good. Let's keep going. :)

First of all, I want to say that my beliefs haven't changed. I still view the Bible as I've always viewed it. It is God's Holy Word that expresses His Will to us mere, often pitiful humans, and it is to be taken very, very seriously. It does not respond to our every whim and want. As such, I still view sex between anyone outside of a man and woman united in marriage to be outside of God's Will and, therefore, sinful. When Hitch asked me to be his boyfriend, I made sure to tell him this. Granted, I used much more "frilly" language since I knew he did not have the same spiritual background as I did. Either way, I got the point across that our relationship would not include sex (and a few other things) unless I changed my beliefs... and I told him that was not likely to happen in the near future (and hopefully never).

I had expected him to hit the ground running when I said that. After all, I know that he does not share many of my Christian beliefs, least of all the beliefs about human sexuality. But he didn't budge. He still wanted to be with me. I didn't know what he meant by that. I didn't know what he could possibly want from a boyfriend with whom he can't have sex, passionately kiss, and probably won't marry. But I figured that if he was willing to give all that up for me, how could I really say no? So I didn't, and here we are.

He's amazing to be around. Just holding his hand is enough to make my heart flutter, and I've yet to feel anything really sexual about him. If and when I do, the relationship might have to end. For now, however, I'm enjoying the companionship while I have it. I probably won't post too much about it, mainly because finally being in a relationship is showing me just how much I can care for another person, and I don't want to put our personal business out there for the world to see.

At the same time, this blog is my story. I wanted to let you guys know where I am at right now. I'm sure some people will see this and be happy that I'm on my way to being "gay-affirming." My answer to that is that I'm not. I'm sure others will think that this is a big mistake and that I'm only setting myself up for a world of hurt. I thought so too, and I told Hitch this. He said he'd risk it, and so will I. Others, still, will think that I'm at the top of the "slippery slope" and I'll soon be totally "in the lifestyle." My only hope is that they trust me to challenge their presumptions like I have in the past. At the very least, I'm thankful for all the friends (conservative and liberal, Christian and non-Christian alike) who have advised me and supported me in this decision.

Now I'm just excited about doing all that cutesy, mushy stuff that couples get to do. :)

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